Schrodinger

I am determined to get a cat

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A year ago, the road ahead was rife with possibility, infinite possible outcomes - the people I'd meet, the things I'd learn, the food I'd eat. All I had were ideas and expectations - ideas that could've become reality. Concerns that could've come true. Past attempts at predicting the future have proven futile, so I chose to just let nature take its course. One year later, my path is somewhat set and has been shaped by previous decisions, to an extent. Looking back though, it feels as though this was the only possible future - as much as I try, I can't seem to imagine a different one. Somehow, I can't help but think that certain events and certain people gravitate towards each other - as much as I try to steer the rudder, the course is still largely determined by the wind and waves. If one person were removed from your life, would you unconsciously try to replace them with someone similar? Is it possible to miss something you've never had? Of course, there are always things that you wish you could've done differently, but I get the feeling that no matter what you do, there are some things that just don't change/will always turn out the same.

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A guy wearing large black spectacles passes by. He could've been my friend, perhaps, if I had met him at the start of the first term, back when nobody really knew each other and it was acceptable to talk to complete strangers. There's a lady sitting on the park bench by the lake, eating a sandwich with bits of filling dropping into her lap. That could've been my sandwich, with filling dropping into my lap. I could have been sitting there today. We could both have been sitting there, together. Bits of a hypothetical exchange whizz through my mind: Hi. Hello.     Um... your lap, there's some...   Oh .. Oh dear. And then an awkward silence as she fumbles around in embarrassment trying to get her skirt clean. But thankfully, I'm not sitting there today. Today I'm on a tight schedule; one that does not have room for benches and sandwiches. I have to hurry back to halls before dinner ends to get my food and watch my friends take turns opening and closing their mouths before returning to my room to sit at my computer and wonder wistfully at all the other places I could possibly be.

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bear in mind that if you ever accomplish something great, your baseless claims and random declarations will be debated and quoted, in and out of context, for generations