Sunday, May 29, 2016

我慢


path of most resistance

Come to me all you who are weary
and burdened, and I will give you rest

Take my yoke upon you
and you will find rest for your souls

For my yoke is easy
and my burden is light


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heart feeling so heavy lately



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baby
don't you want my love
baby, here it is
no need to pretend
you don't want it
i won't say it again
come now don't be shy
this is the last time
don't be ungrateful
why
don't you want this
what's wrong with you
say something
you whore
open up
this door right now
before i break it down
last chance
you dumb filthy ignorant bitch
you self-righteous pompous hypocrite
why don't you want my love
you coward
you slut
you cu




i'm sorry
i'm so
so sorry
my love
you know i don't
mean it
i'll never do it again
i promise
my love
my sweet
now come out here
and forgive me

no way to be tender

the city is changing me and i am not resisting at all

church of latter day sinners



what's a body for if not to draw you in, to hold you close, to keep you warm


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we didn't always love each other right, but we tried. We tried real hard, the way families are supposed to

Thursday, May 26, 2016

last of the mohicans

By the beginning of the 1980s, more faster, more aggressive styles such as hardcore (e.g. Dead Kennedys) and street punk (e.g. The Exploited) had become the predominant mode of punk rock. Musicians identifying with or inspired by punk also pursued a broad range of other variations, giving rise to post-punk and the alternative rock movement. At the end of the 20th century, punk rock had been adopted by the mainstream, as pop punk and punk rock bands such as Green Day, the Offspring and Blink-182 brought the genre widespread popularity.

(the wikipedia summary for punk rock ends there)

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it's not just about the end of a tradition - it's more personal than that. these bands are my childhood friends - and i realise it's the most cliche and nauseating thing in the world to listen to a kid complaining about how a band has changed or 'sold out' and lament how they miss the 'old fall out boy' or 'old paramore'. but change can be both good or bad (or neither), and if it's bad, then isn't the grieving justified? change is ultimately about gaining and losing, what you leave behind vs what you hope to achieve - when you meet again, did they gain a new dimension, and at what cost? or have they lost something essential? have they only demolished their monuments and hawker stalls to make room for condominiums and five star shopping malls



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Sunday, May 8, 2016

call


Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. 
- Psalm 42:7


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really smart people saying interesting things make you think they're worth listening to, fallacy of the beautiful girl not always beautiful inside too. Just because they are making insightful observations taht are true doesn't mean they are full of truth. I'll say it again: Just because something is true, it doesn't mean it's truth. The way you know you are writing something real is that it draws the reader into their realer selves. ( makes them actually feel inside themselves for a change, and maybe respond, instead of eliciting an autonomous reaction, like laughter or disgust. )

and i don't know why that manifests itself so much like the feeling of loneliness
wanting to share something special, an experience
or because you feel someone really gets you someone really understands you
when you snap out of it and realise that person or entity is not actually present - ghost appendage sensation, losing something you never had to begin with




great writing cannot be completely dependent upon technique, really great writing requires you to dig inside yourself for the deepest part of yourself you can find. or else it won't reach anyone
deep calls to deep

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is that what you think that the book is about then, loneliness?


I think that if there’s a sort of sadness for people under 45 it has something to do with pleasure and achievement and entertainment. Like a sort of emptiness at the heart of what they thought was going on. And maybe I can hope that some parts of the book speak to their nerve endings a little bit.



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mothers day dinner 8/5/16: advice - make an effort to keep in touch with old friends. make the effort, it takes effort but it's worth it

Long Revision

 夕食後、ベアは湾のパノラマビューのために4月をエスプラネードに連れて行くことを申し出たが、彼女は翌朝早く空港にいなければならないと言って断った。代わりに、4月は金融街を二分し、川の河口を横断して少し上流のMRT駅に到着できるルートを提案しました。そこで彼らは手入れの行き届いた都...