10−2 mentality

Last night I dreamt that my dad was getting me ready to go to school in the morning. Towards the end, he had a habit of waking at the crack of dawn - way earlier than he needed to - to spend some time with me just reading the bible and having breakfast before school. Now I realise it was his way of trying to hypnopompically pass on a few values and smuggle some good habits into a son that didn't seem to be growing into anything that remotely resembled him. I retaliated by complying with this regimen like a psych patient receiving legally mandated neuroleptics, hoping each day my sulking and languid disinterest would force him to realise the futility of his efforts, the idea being one day he'd throw his arms up in defeat, forever renounce his attempts to rehabilitate me and finally stop waking me up in the morning.

In my dream, we're in the old house again. I'm a lanky seventeen year old with no real world responsibility yet. As I rub the sleep from my eyes, I catch a p…

infinite test

"... eventually you figure out that the things you should value are those that are everlasting, and irreplaceable."

왜 계속 불만족 / more more more

Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.


Dear 25 year old me,

In case you haven't noticed, trying to make yourself happy is the thing that leaves you feeling the most unhappy.

Best wishes,

dope tunes vol I


the order of time

"Einstein understood this slowing down of time a century before we had clocks precise enough to measure it. He imagined that the sun and the Earth each modified the space and time that surrounded them, just as a body immersed in water displaces the water around it. This modification of the structure of time influences in turn the movement of bodies, causing them to “fall” towards each other. What does it mean, this “modification of the structure of time”? It means precisely the slowing down of time described above: a mass slows down time around itself. The Earth is a large mass and slows down time in its vicinity. It does so more in the plains and less in the mountains, because the plains are closer to it. This is why the friend who stays at sea level ages more slowly."

Carlo Rovelli, The Order of Time


A mass slows down time around itself. What does this mean for us. When time passes differently for us, is this a perceived or a real change? Are we simply moving faster …

주고 받기 / comes and goes


a broken heart is one that dared to hope