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I shovel two spoonfuls worth of rice, unsolicited, from my bowl into her's. I do it in front of her, deliberately. I always make sure she sees when I do it — not so that she can see what a swell, generous guy I am — although, in a way, that's part of it too — and it's not so that she'll eat more either (she does that plenty enough already). Mainly I do it so she won't feel guilty. And so that her guilt won't make her go hungry (however unlikely that eventuality may be). I do it to show her that I don't mind sharing my food with her (even though I kind of do). Most of all, I do it for next time, so she doesn't have to feel bad about portioning out the rice equally. I suppose it's become something of a mealtime ritual - a rite of first refusal; I deposit my rice accompanied by some half-baked acquittal like man I can't possibly finish this much or it's okay I had a big lunch, which is her cue to commence some feeble attempt at protest that always and immediately relents at the first sign of insistence (which I, in turn, obligingly, invariably provide). Lately though, she's taken to eschewing the whole charade of declining, choosing instead to simply regard her fate with an inevitable air of grave resignation/approval. Though I didn't think much of it at the time, it's recently occurred to me that she may be up to something, and though I can't prove anything, I still can't shake this feeling that now when she dishes out the rice, she gives herself exactly two spoonfuls less than me.
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a sliver of onion tumbles across the chopping board and lands on the floor
- aiya
- i think you need to be more kind to the onions
- why, we're gonna eat them anyway
- no i mean you have to treat them gentler
- so they won't fly away?
- mm
- ou
like this?
- ya
- you can only be kind to them if they show you their softness though
- that's true
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