unhealed parts / fight back

For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.

- 2 Corinthians 5:4

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To shed new light on the issue, lead author Kristine D. Sørensena, a psychologist, twice interviewed 15 people receiving outpatient treatment for AVPD. The researchers said the overarching theme to emerge from the interviews was the participants’ struggle to be a person. “They felt safe when alone, yet lost in their aloneness,” the researchers said. They “longed to connect with others yet feared to get close.” In the researchers’ opinion, the participants’ profound difficulties with their “core self” and in their dealings with others do indeed correspond to “a personality disorder diagnosis”. '

Beneath the overarching theme of struggling to be a person, there emerged two main themes, the first being “fear and longing." This included participants’ descriptions of having to put on a mask when socializing and their difficulty feeling normal. This constant performance meant they felt other people never really knew them. There were some rare exceptions to these difficulties: For instance, one participant said they felt authentic when with their young daughter, yet other participants described how, as their children grew older, their usual insecurities returned even when in their company.

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Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”


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"... to see every single person you meet as someone admirable, or pitiable. to cultivate a relationship that is both healthy and enjoyable. Remember that everyone has something to teach you if you let them, and the same goes for you. Talking like this... I guess it sounds as if I've figured everything out, but the truth is that most days I don't feel this way. Most days I feel afraid, threatened, terrified, envious and distrustful of everyone I meet. I feel small and unappealing and undeserving of love. I am petty, cynical and vindictive. In those moments most of all, I need someone there who knows and believes I can be better; who reminds me with their kindness and patience that there is another way to be."