The point of searching
There was a whole sheet, a blanket of snow on my backyard last night and now it's all gone, dissolved as if it were never there. Like last year
Lets talk about Artists. How do they know what colours to use, what notes to compose. What secret rule book or algorithm are they consulting. These were the thoughts in my head as I listened to Roma by Edo lee. And then it occurred to me- they just know. Like a baby knows how to suckle or a dog knows how to bark. And they don't second guess it. That's the secret, to trust your impulses and your gut. I've found that once you start talking about writing, it becomes rigid. It stiffens up. You can't use it any more its not pliable. Virginia woolf writes and essay, treatise on words, she says, the moment you pin down its meaning it dies. The colour is drained, the music of it fades. The ones who masterfully craft phrases the poets I suspect associate words with not a definition, by definition itself a string of dry, withered exact precise in unemotive words. It's not a prescriptive, recursive enterprise. Instead they are associated with a rich and immediate experience. Qualia or sendation phenomenon (check meaning of qualia) meanings are useful so we understand, to keep things standardised- but we can't get caught up with the meanings, don't let them rule us- the best artists broke the rules not because they deliberately set out to but because they were too preoccupied with getting the images and colours and music inside them out to care about conventions and Norms. Broke the mould. Care about what you are trying to say and do your best to say it. Then the words will come- arrange themselves, lay themselves out before you. The good ones, the ones that still are kicking with vitality, fluttering out of grasp of all but the very few who dare to reach for them.
Euphoria. Much more intense version of pleasure- exceedingly happy. Or do you think of hold, shining lights and choruses of Angels. Because that's the experience the original subject the word was designed invented to evoke invoke recall point to- its there as a signpost to represent something realer than itself. Eu- good - phoria, bearing, carry- original meaning health. The actual experience of euphoria came before the word, and its that experience that must blossom in both the reader and writer's imagination. Not an abstraction or a cold flat idea.
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