autumn son

if you keep telling lies
the thing is you end up believing them
and one day you wake up and
discover even your unhappiness is a mask
you can no longer take off
and your smile is a muffled cry
for help
you've forgotten how to decipher

next year i will find out that sometimes
when we don't talk
it's not because you are angry
but because you are trying
very hard to love someone
who makes you sad

but in the meantime
it seems i've run away
from home again
and the songs on the radio
don't make me feel a thing
all my emotions are papier mâché
as falling leaves disintegrate into
compost heaps



dead air excavates a blank line
that dutifully conveys the sound
of you not saying anything to me
i'm doing call collect
long distance again
and i've run out of things to say
there is static where
your offer to come rescue me
should be
no kidnappers to pin this one on
i'm afraid
just me