my friend tells me about how he nearly collided with a divider going 40mph driving home from his GP interview

yeah defo, im just thinking in an alternate timeline 
id either be dead or disabled 
already

feeling pill

今度

year of meteors pt iii

Schizophrenic year. Year of ambivalence,
of incongruous volatile polarity.
year of conflict and tensions and
opposition and duality and
interruption. Year of growing
apart and fragmentation.

Year of descent, of iridescent
spectacle. Of vanishing and
transient burning. Year of wishes
and disappointments. Year of shadows
and searching and distant flickering.
Year of trail blazing and disintegrating.

---

Leaving year. Year of departures.
Year of going and not knowing
if you'll ever come back

gross nostalgia / megacreep / you look good blues

a picture of aggregation without distinction
the whole of last year is out of focus
a blur, even more than usual
maybe it gets better
but how bad is it now
how bad is it now?

八百万

i just... i don't get it. why do you put yourself through all this rejection, through so much pain?

he took one long puff of his cigarette, then turned to face me as if he had been waiting for someone to ask him that his entire life.

so i can be accepted one day, he said.

the museum of you / bad apple, rotten millenial / no wrong answer

There is a man never believed fortune telling not all  
He never never took a book of greek mythology 
He said Fortune telling is for teenagers who falling love 
i never knew my constellation and i never want to 

He woks as a doctocr all around the world  
oneday little boy asked him in jet When is your birthday? 

He answered 21st of December 
The boy said Same as me! You like journey too. 'Cause sagittarius!




---

"... and surprised to find it is made up of other people"

---

- i worry about forgetting...

- forgetting what?

- who... I was... who I used to be...

---

"you're the guy who never figured out the answer to 'what do you want to be when you grow up'"

"that's... that's not true."

"so what do you want to be then?"

"... my... myself"

---

remembering involves the same pleasant surprise as discovering. it is exploring what you had forgotten, and hence the experience is a novelty. But the discovery has an extra dimension. The reward includes the thoughts, feelings, desires, sensations you had at the time. You re-experience what a previous version of you experienced, plus what the current you, many moons down the line, and get to reflect on your reflections of that experience, you get to think of the experience again in a new light, as well as think about the thoughts you had of that experience. So the same experience becomes richer. It's a little bit like being able to live twice.