self interest

Found this while rummaging through some old files and folders. I must've been about fifteen when I wrote this. I guess things haven't really changed all that much since then; in some ways, I think I'm more like myself now than I was a year or two ago, only less suspicious of sentiment; more vulnerable to joy - a little more argumentative, perhaps a little more impatient. I care about more people than I did back then, while caring less about the people I shouldn't. Somehow, I'm glad this letter is unfinished; I think it says more this way

江ノ島へ行く途中

I guess we'll just have to wait and see
given the rate we're going
I think we must be heading somewhere important
the hours seem to grow shorter each day
but then again, some of them weren't all that great
for every precious memory and new discovery
I should've built myself some sort of museum
it seems the present has swept the past away
can all those things really have happened?
sunshine, blessed sunshine
new house, same house, old friends, blue skies
new jeans, a haircut, new shoes, another haircut
late night again? wanna order? nah, it's okay
staying up all night studying for exams the next day
wandering the city aimlessly waiting for work to start
sighing and crying and laughing and singing
faking smiles and hiding tears
which were the fears? which were the dreams?
the concrete heat, the mist and morning chill
it all comes back to me now, feeling just like yesterday
but if I really try to think about it
I can't recall a thing
time really does fly