for a generation with so many modes of communication, we're pretty terrible at expressing ourselves
---
too busy bulletproofing my ego to practice love
---
10 minutes of outrageous courage
5 minutes of complete honesty
for 1 week question everything you share - the motive behind it, what am I promoting - myself or something more?
---
Rather than actions or discrete events, i.e. forgetting someone's birthday, borrowing money without returning it, the most detrimental and toxic things in a relationship are insidious in nature. Barely noticeable, they creep up on us like a cancer that slowly spreads, poisoning a person's character, actions and attitudes from the inside, only frankly manifesting much later as a constellation of ruined relationships. But by then the damage has been done, often irreversibly.
Selfishness. Bitterness. Resentment. Contempt. The worst things - envy and pride - they don't make a scene or betray themselves by obvious means. They don't announce their presence but slip in unnoticed whenever genuine human interaction becomes an imminent possibility. What they like to do is creep up behind your shoulder and whisper doubt and anxiety into your ear. They shove criticisms and comparisons into the heart to crowd out compassion and charity. The atmosphere then becomes tainted with foul thoughts and motives which pre-empt/disrupt/prevent any attempt at a meaningful exchange from occurring. Cynicism and doubt do their best to imprison/isolate us within our respective insecurities and keep us from the possibility of recognising the being before us as a creature wonderfully and fearfully made - a sea of wisdom and folly and stories and memories and mystery masquerading as an awkward and slightly overweight carbon based life form. It does this alarmingly well by keeping us fearfully focused on ourselves, preoccupied by pride. Because fear and envy cloud our vision, we cannot see the person who has been custom-made and lovingly designed by the maker of heaven and earth, destined to become immortal beings of near infinite worth. What takes its place instead are conversations consisting of only secular and superficial things; a sense of showing off; a mutual distrust; a brutal self-serving kind of honesty; a cruel and severe humour; a facetious demeanour; a rehearsed earnestness; a loud and desperate nonchalance. There is no mutual fostering of affection - nothing real ventured besides a pantomime of congeniality. A tiresome masquerade where all the dancers are simultaneously judging and trying to impress each other. What results is a steady erosion of goodwill. A vague and gradual surfeit of ill feeling. A steady decay of relations, a souring you can't really apologise for. That's the worst part, arguably: realising your fault and being unable to ask forgiveness.
Still, it's not too late to make a recovery. What a neoplastic, failing heart needs is surgery -- a heart transplant. Let's acknowledge our brokenness and stop pretending to be perfect. We're all works in progress, walking around with open chests. Don't focus on fixing the selfishness or pride in yourself. Instead focus on finding and appreciating the good in each other. Be kind. Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good. Love one another. Take the lead in showing honour one to another. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another, not setting your mind on the high things but going along with the lowly. Do not be wise in yourselves. Remind yourself to be kind. Give without expecting anything in return. Remind yourself to be kind again. Listen - I mean,
really listen to them when they speak. You won't have time to be proud or arrogant or envious. You will be amazed by the excellence you discover in them. They themselves will be amazed. Allow their value to blossom before you and their pride loses its meaning. It no longer has any use and is cast off like the crutch of a cripple who has been healed. For now that the masks are off, you can distinguish the artifice from the act. In your hands you recognise the false veneer for what it is, and realize again what the face underneath looked like. And you will ask yourselves why you were afraid at all to begin with.
---
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
– 1 Peter 4:8
