boyfriend material / 浪人

still haven't quite got the hang of this whole 'being an adult' thing


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For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.


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kind to strangers, distant to friends

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“Your own wickedness will correct you,
 And your apostasies will reprove you;
 Know therefore and see that it is evil and bitter
 For you to forsake the LORD your God,
 And the dread of Me is not in you,” declares the Lord GOD of hosts."


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‘Return, faithless Israel,’ declares the LORD;
‘I will not look upon you in anger.
For I am gracious,’ declares the LORD;
‘I will not be angry forever.

‘Only acknowledge your iniquity,
That you have transgressed against the LORD your God
And have scattered your favors to the strangers under every green tree,
And you have not obeyed My voice,’ declares the LORD.

‘Return, O faithless sons,’ declares the LORD;
‘For I am a master to you,
And I will take you one from a city and two from a family,
And I will bring you to Zion.’

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used to worry a lot about my heart moving too fast, or too slow, not progressing in a relationship at the appropriate speed... but, there's no correct speed... it depends on who you're with, who you are, what season of life you're in, what lesson's you're still trying to learn. You can't force a seed to grow faster, you can only care for and nurture it.

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lost in translation

I always thought the line was 'I listen to what my heart says every day and without knowing it I have become an adult,' but I looked up the translation one day and realised it was actually, 'my heart that I hear every day - I have grown up without ever finding out where it is.'


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loneliness is when you can't convey to someone something that affects you deeply, or something you believe in strongly - and when you forget how to convey it to yourself - that's the worst kind of loneliness there is

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I have seen their ways, but I will heal them;
I will guide them and restore comfort to Israel's mourners,
creating praise on their lips.
Peace, peace, to those far and near,"
says the Lord. "And I will heal them,"
But the wicked are like the tossing sea,
which cannot rest,
whose waves cast up mire and mud.
"There is no peace," says my God,
"for the wicked."

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There's a children's hospice called Noah's Ark being built in London. Seemingly benign. Why bring in the bible imagery, why not something sterile neutral anemic anesthetic. Why introduce the grandeur and poignancy of history and myth to the affair. Every child's death is a tragedy, the name a reminder of this, the ark as a safe place for innocent creatures, only they never disembark. A place of tenderness. Respite from the world, mercy from the flood. Aptly named in terms of magnitude, in that every family that enters undergoes an event of earth shattering, life changing, cataclysmic proportions.

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how to do one thing over and over again and not get any better at it

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how to live and not be any kinder, any gentler, any stronger, any smarter, any sweeter, any sadder, any lonelier, any lovelier, any stranger, any crazier, any softer, any calmer, any better, any better, any better

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What does it mean to live according to principles?

It means denying yourself, deferring gratification, saying no to the easy way, doing the difficult thing

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1. reply texts on time
2. check email everyday
3. spend time with your friends and not your screen
4. check in with yourself regularly

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describe yourself in 3 words

difficult. selfish. honest

you just described my last insurance company

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Who is a hero you look up to?

Spider man. Cause after his uncle Ben died and he had all those powers he could have felt sorry for himself and used it to pursue pleasure and comfort but instead he uses it for the good of others, being self sacrificing, managing to keep a smile and crack a joke or two as well. Anyone can do a good deed when they're in a good mood but it takes a special kind of resilience to be good when it costs you something. It reminds me of this verse in Corinthians... 'Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.' I just find that kind of faith and perseverance incredibly inspiring. It reminds me of Jesus on the cross by choice. He could have set up an earthly empire, seized power for himself, led a comfortable life, but instead he chose the road of mercy and humility and suffering. He chose not to live for himself but to die for us.

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Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God -- this is your true and proper worship.

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Yet this I hold against you: you have forsaken the love you had at first

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How to live for other people, how to give in meaningful ways, how to approach others with humility, how to grow close and be vulnerable, how to look after someone else