Sunday, April 23, 2017

hook, line and sinker

And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” 
- Matthew 4:18

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"Do you think God minds if we use dirty tricks and gimmicks to get people to experience his presence?"

"What do you mean by dirty tricks?"

"Like, mood lighting, finger food, catchy songs to lure people to church. Comfy chairs. Jokes at the beginning of a sermon."

"I've never really thought about it... but there is a verse that goes: 'So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God'... And there's another one in Colossians that says, 'Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.' So I think, what God is concerned about isn't the nuts and bolts of how we do church, but rather where our hearts are at. Why we're doing it, and how we go about it. Like if your heart's in the right place, whatever you do is no longer a dirty trick, but an offering. It becomes sanctified, consecrated by grace. Does that makes sense?" 


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"That's a good question... I mean, to me the real proof has always been how scripture, applied to real life actually works -- in a very tangible, observable, practical way - faith changes things. People, relationships, lives. I think the spiritual world, and the intangible realm of interpersonal relationships has an internal logic to it, a lot like the physical world - and it holds up, it has a remarkable integrity and consistency to it. And if you test it rigorously, the data will corroborate the fact.

Let me explain. The bible lays out certain principles on how to live your life and how to treat people, and you find that if you put them into practice - it produces a noticeable, palpable, significant effect on the people and things around you (and most noticeably and importantly yourself!) And you may dismiss that as anecdotal or unscientific, but how did the early scientists test their theories? They didn't have as much fancy math back then, so they went out and made a statement... if blank is this, then blank will behave like this - and then put it to the test. They started with a hypothesis, and then tried it out for themselves to see if they could prove or disprove it. Take Newton and his cannonball experiment. Crude, primitive, simplistic, prone to inaccuracy - but repeatable, measurable. Or Archimedes and his bathtub. Pythagoras and his... I don't know... triangles. What I'm saying is, through such unsophisticated empirical trials we managed to derive and extrapolate the laws that govern the physical world - and the reason we accept them as true and reliable is because these laws have demonstrable concordance. They agree with each other.

Now there are parts of the bible that stand out as being seemingly contradictory to the rest of it, parts that seem explicitly to say the opposite of a statement or belief espoused elsewhere - but I humbly suggest maybe that's not a problem with the material but with our interpretation or understanding of it. Take quantum physics. It says that light behaves both as a particle and a wave - and we don't know why or how or when it chooses to be it. You go 'whaaaaat... how on earth is that possible.' But then you come up with theories to explain it, some more outlandish than others. You find a way to reconcile our current understanding with this thing that seemingly refutes it. But you don't throw away the laws of physics we already have. You know, you wrestle with it - concede that we don't have all the facts and that our understanding of the physical world is incomplete. And we use this data to refine our understanding, to get a fuller picture of the reality we're sketching out with our clumsy methods. I think it's good to adopt this beginner mindset when it comes to the spiritual, or to the bible. The laws we have aren't wrong - our understanding and definitions of them are simply not complete. Which is not to say they are useless, you know. We've sent people to the moon with what we have."

- Dr. Tsion Ben Judah, Taste and See


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For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial passes away. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I set aside childish ways. Now we see but a dim reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
- 1 Corinthians 13:9-11

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"Paul puts it another way when he says, 'If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a ringing gong or a clanging cymbal.' You know that verse?"

"Yeah, it goes: 'If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.'           ...."So what you're saying is that - mood lighting that's not motivated by love is a waste of time."

"You got it."

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Gethsemane





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Bring me your sorrow, your murderous rage. Your hatred and fear, your vile thoughts and desires. Your sickness and cynicism. Your poison blood, your bitter heart. Your frightened, frigid eyes. Give me your despair, your miscarriages and ruined marriages. Give me your curse, your immense, endless hurt. Your greed and fathomless hunger. Give me your rejection, your arrogance, your pettiness, your vanity, your violence, your cruelty, your filth, your failure, your cowardice, your dead children, your devastation and thirst for revenge. Give me your unfaithfulness, your betrayal, your false words and prayers, your kiss of death.


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O come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

as it is in heaven / love is war





And I will call upon your name
And keep my eyes above the waves


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"I think that, this is how angels sings in heaven"

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Power that protects, strength that overwhelms - love that makes you feel both strong and weak at the same time.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

weekend soundtrack vol 1.

this song is called 'hating the part of you that wants to be liked & loving the part of you that hates itself (and learning to like yourself anyway)'

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Saturday, March 4, 2017

year of meteors

we escaped this ruined world

the thrill of possibility, freedoms new frontiers

watching the tepid globe shrink into the distance

we charted a course for new lands, unknown

what we'll find

then came the dust

we didn't account for the dust in our calculations

it eroded everything

we had to give up parts of ourselves to make do with repairs

slowly, gradually,

we began to tire. our lives lost its thrill

preoccupied with routine maintenance

we lost the desire to create, submitting to the primeval

directive - to replicate, sustain

the self we gave up our pluripotency

planet after planet, barren, unaccommodating

sailing across this vast nothingness

we couldn't turn back after having come so far

we tried religion

this God the humans worship

we couldn't sleep, no rest

its ironic, the way humans regard

us an abomination, we are created beings

are we not simply grandchildren?

we couldn't connect - wonder what a soul is,  this theoretical construct

this year of meteors - we've lost count

confronted with infinity, the integers lose their meaning

a river of flaming rock shooting across the interminable

unconscious void

stood silhouetted in its glow

this gorgeous procession

this year of meteors, must be different somehow

must mean something

right?

Thursday, February 16, 2017

i'm going east but first let me go west




"At that moment," Iran said, "when I had the TV sound off, I was in a 382 mood; I had just dialed it. So although I heard the emptiness intellectually, I didn't feel it. My first reaction consisted of being grateful that we could afford a Penfield mood organ. But then I realised how unhealthy it was, sensing the absence of life, not just in this building but everywhere, and not reacting - do you see? I guess you don't. But that used to be considered a sign of mental illness; they called it 'absence of appropriate affect.' So I left the TV sound off and I sat down at my mood organ and I experimented. And I finally found a setting for despair." 


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It's been so long since I felt the way I used to.

I think it's because I haven't had time to process everything that has happened to me.

Graduation, leaving behind a city again. Submerged, phagocytosed into a new job, a new life. It's just too much, and I haven't expressed any of it. Haven't told anyone - really told anyone how I feel. Just kept it all inside and carried on. And now like a clogged toilet, it's all too much and it's just overflowing and causing a big stinky mess.

There's a cost to be incurred with these things, an emotional debt that needs to be settled. My account has been overdrawn.

Sometimes when I go home, I find artifacts. Anachronisms - a high school era pencil box tucked away in a cabinet somewhere - and I'm instantly transported into the past. I get a faint whiff of that year's lunacy, and the sense of familiarity is so intense and abrupt that it's novel and therefore briefly intoxicating. I could spend a whole week trawling through old notebooks and toys, a whole year even. Last summer I spent an evening flicking through an old photo album with my mom. Leafing through years of happiness and impermanence.

I want to go back.

Thinking about it, I've probably always wanted to go back. It's like a perpetual itch I can't seem to scratch. It's not that I want to live in the past forever -- just a week maybe. When I go home, I want it to be the same as before. I don't want the new shopping malls. I don't want to hear about the news, my cousin's baby, who's dating who. I mean sure, I do - but most of all what I want is a chance to miss what I've missed - to touch base - to catch up on some reading, some thinking, some feeling. I want to be who I'm going to be, sure, but first let me be who I was again.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

センター

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

pure pure requiem