travelogue / good dog

I think our water is like soul

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figures bearing the latest
most fashionable fad
the runway streets they strut
plaid and leather clad
not only the fair skinned
but also yellow and black
obsessed with expressing themselves
by the cloth on their backs

이 amazing한여자야

even when I'm awake I dream of you

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I think I've been listening to too much Jay Park lately

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c'mon. it's saving one person's life

   I don't even want to know how you arrived at that conclusion

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I have a soft spot for girls who can tell me what to do if Linux boots me into a command line. Morgan Webb, if you're reading this, I love you <3

sierra leone

Blood diamond was a wonderfully written and directed film - a rare gem full of superb performances by pretty much everyone involved. Story was great; they even managed to weave in a prodigal son arc pretty organically, which I recognize and applaud; not to mention lots of really universal and relevant themes - eye opening and well presented. A couple of problems though - character development felt a little sudden and the smuggler-journalist love-line felt forced, including and especially the phone stunt they pulled towards the end - but mainly it's the fact that I had trouble focusing on the story half the time because Jennifer Connelly was in the scene with her perfectly curled Hollywood hair and 1000-watt smile. I'm not saying it's her fault for being a stunner, but you'd think that in a picture like this one they'd at least allow their stars to look lousy when they're supposed to.

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even my lover's no longer enamored by me

movements of cut and paste / in verse

her curls


[can't continue cause I suck]

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the very act of observing
causes a change in behaviour

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I suppose it's time I accepted the fact
that some people are more beautiful than others
and some people can see it better than others
and some people can capture and frame it better than others
and I am none of these

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the twilight sneaks in quietly through the curtains
and across the sheet creeps gently to caress her cheek
a halo of celestial light outlines the sleeping angel's form
the corners of her lips migrate ever so slightly 
as if contemplating some delicious secret
some saccharine fancy

her hair, an obsidian shroud
dark and opaque, the ebony veil
that frames her countenance
flows like the Euphrates down
like a lush waterfall yet
yields gracefully
to lay itself across her figure
their dainty curls mingling with the curves of her shoulders
with such elegance, rivaling the realm of Venus herself
as if the very forces of nature had,
at her conception, conspired
to shine their marvelous rays upon her starless skies
an aura unparalleled
by the northern wind bestowed
a radiance surpassing
even the most picturesque horizon
its fragile delight deftly possessed

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I give up

the scent of summer

---

be still my heart / trust me, he said

slow jams - a list:
[instructions: 1. turn bass all the way up 2. play]
[disclaimer: may result in inadvertent disrobing. be warned]

0. Midnight Whispers - Raquel Rodriguez
0.5. Happy Home - Boney James
1. Blast Off - Chris J
2. Lovers & Friends - Lil Jon ft. Usher, Ludacris
3. Come on over - Jay Park
4. Turn off your phone - Jay Park
5. Thinking about you - Frank Ocean
6. Stay with me - Round Table feat. Nino
7. The nearness of you - Norah Jones
8. They can't take that away from me - Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

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songs that didn't make the list but are still awesome - a list:

Senorita - Justin Timberlake
Ignition - R. Kelly
Who's Theme - Minmi
18 Clicks - Raquel Rodriguez
Fabulous - Blu Swing
The Way You Look Tonight - Michael Buble

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just the way he said 'I love you'
he seemed so sure, I guess it must be true

近畿 後輩 / kinky kohai

変態。[ pervert.]

ちょっと. . おまえが 変態 じゃん!! [ hey, hold on a second.. you're the pervert here!!]
 

うるさい。[ quiet. ]

---
 

変態。[ pervert. ]

思い :    おまえが 変態 じゃん . . [ internal : you're the pervert . . ]

insufflation

when I was 19 I dreamt of having an intercontinental affair

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I'm half mad and you're too sane

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some sentences just seem incomplete


- as though they're missing their other half

beauty queen / political scientist

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun.

---

I dislike the way she laughs so readily

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i would like to forfeit my position in this competition for attention; i'm done dominating conversations for the sake of earning some shallow form of affection or admiration

---

I hear deaf people make great eye contact

mirrors and masks / the hostess

I've gotten better at small talk - saying things that don't really hold much meaning but are expected during social interaction: 'ah I'm sure you'll be fine' 'the important thing is...' 'look on the bright side'

---

when I looked into her smiling eyes
and saw nothing but glass
I saw through her disguise -
past a myriad of masks -
a curious collection, a peculiar obsession
her expressions, it turns out,
were merely reflections
chameleon-like, she took on the hues of those around her
a splendid show, but I am curious as to her true colour

---

친한 척 내가 제일 싫어

---

am I naive to expect a raven haired beauty to come along and turn my world upside down or am I cynical to assume she doesn't exist?

who would ever want to be king

---

here i lie, on my own in a separate sky

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I wonder if the spiritual realm, as some people choose to think of it, is compatible with a theory involving inhabitants of extra dimensions beyond the four we are relatively familiar with

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"In the beginning God created the HEAVENS and the earth." (Genesis 1:1, NKJV)

If God resides in heaven where exactly is His throne? If Hell is the absence of His presence and intervention, then heaven must be a place one is close to God or at least is in His presence all the time, more so than on earth, for there is no sin separating us. However, the scriptures convey an omnipresent God. Like how light is all around, but also exists in spectrums/wavelengths undetectable to us without aid of technological apparatus. (The only reason we know it exists in these extra states is because they have been detected and documented, because we were looking and investigating. How many other ways may light exist, that we haven't yet discovered?)

Perhaps Hell is not a state where God is absent, but where his presence isn't felt, or isn't welcome. A severely unpleasant state where people refuse to bathe and choose to eat garbage and commit rape and other unspeakable acts. Also, does omnipresence suppose that All of Him is everywhere, all the time? If God is also Jesus and the Holy Spirit, can He also be present to differing extents? I should point out, at this point, that these are all simply hypotheses and, more importantly, irrelevant to the main argument. In order to speculate as to the mechanisms by which such things are possible - the 'how' - we would most likely have to be beings who inhabit a higher dimension to properly think about and consider the behaviour of bodies and entities in those dimensions. It would be extremely difficult to explain the concept of dim and bright to those who do not have an understanding of light and its behaviour as a wave in the first place. (though apparently this view is currently being contested. Perhaps henceforth I should use simpler analogies lest I expose my ignorance even more) To explain the diffusion of gas and all its formulas and equations to someone who only has knowledge and experience of no more than two dimensions would be futile - it's difficult enough getting regular space and time occupying students to understand. Anyway, I have already allocated enough words towards justifying the incomprehensible nature of concepts belonging to greater/higher/further dimensions and we shall now swiftly move on to the more important business of locating the kingdom of heaven and its holy seats.

Could Dante have been on to something? Could there actually be different degrees of Hell and multiple spheres of heaven? Here, it is important to establish that these extra dimensions that heaven may possess or belong to need not be spatial dimensions, just as time is in a category of its own, separate from the spatial dimensions (not sure if I buy the whole space-time theory). Perhaps heaven is a certain state of one's soul - a selfless devoted-to-God state that consequently leads to all the good things associated with being in heaven. That would be in line with the throne of God being there.

The Lord is in His holy temple, the Lord's throne is in heaven . . . " (Psalm 11:4)

Bearing in mind that the Psalms are essentially songs, I'm not sure how much is meant to be taken as artistic expression and how much should be interpreted as divine revelation. I googled 'should Psalms be taken seriously' but the search came up with nothing useful.

Thankfully, Isaiah offers a few more substantial nuggets of information.

This is what the LORD says: "Heaven is My throne, and the earth is My footstool. Where is the house you will build for Me? Where will My resting place be?" (Isaiah 66:1)

Firstly, it confirms that His throne is, in some way, associated with heaven. The nuances of 'throne', on its own, we could analyze till kingdom come (no pun intended) so we won't. But here, in relation to 'footstool', it definitely conveys a sense of importance and utility. A throne is more comfortable than a footstool. A throne also holds more reverence and is reserved typically only for one king - the king. Only one person can rightfully occupy a throne - whereas it doesn't really matter who uses your footstool.

"Where is the house you will build for me? Where will my resting place be?"

This, to me, sounds an awful lot like a trick question. However, I don't think the answer is as simple or straightforward as 'Um... both?' When an omniscient God asks a question, chances are He's not on a fact-finding mission, but aiming to make a point. Now we just have to find out what that point is, exactly.

[Jesus used to speak in riddles too. I can easily picture these words clearly coming from His mouth, or at least, the mouth I imagine Him to have. Of course, most of His career and ministry wasn't spent making claims like 'Heaven is My throne', but that's beside the point.]

It's curious that He specifies the house as being built by us, as if it's a matter-of-fact.

One could look at it as a proclamation of his greatness in contrast to the feeble abilities of man. Like how a schoolmaster would reprimand a high school student who has overstepped his boundaries and tried to arrange a coup to usurp control of the institution. If the earth is only large enough to be a footstool, how much larger must His house be? A scathing shard of rhetoric meant to convey: 'You can't possibly build a house for Me.' God employed a similar technique on Job too.

But there's another way of looking at it. Firstly, it implies that we are meant to build a house for Him - we must do something that requires significant effort on our part, cause building a house ain't no piece of cake. [We could spend an eternity analyzing the word 'house' but for our intents and purposes, we'll take it simply to mean, somewhere to live - to fill with one's presence - a place to belong.] Secondly, it essentially tells us that His house cannot merely be in the same realm as earth or in the same realm as heaven, for that matter. It has to be somewhere else - somewhere 'more'.

"Is not God in the height of heaven? And see the highest stars, how lofty they are!" (Job 22:12)

Another clue, again hinting that the dimensions we are used to thinking in are inadequate to try and triangulate God's position. Height is commonly defined as the distance extending into the vertical upward direction, at right angles to the horizontal axes of length and width, that is - the opposite direction that gravity acts upon us - but once you get far away enough from earth, gravity acts - not 'down' - but pulls in with a sucking manner with a sphere like field of influence. Therefore the opposite is not 'up' but rather 'out'. How do you measure the height of a star? You need a frame of reference, with so many to choose from, just choose one arbitrarily. To distinguish the highest stars, however, you need to have an absolute, not relative, frame of reference - a starting point from which to measure. And even if you did have a starting point, you'd have to locate all the edges of the universe. It also doesn't help that there a near infinite number of stars (not sure if that's scientifically accurate, if not, please just pretend that I am using 'infinite' in a poetic sense). Even if you change the question from 'the highest stars' to 'the furthest stars', you still have to ask, 'furthest from what?' It's as if God is saying, 'there's no use trying to find it, when you can't even define it' - not a statement designed to provoke despair, but rather an admonition to look elsewhere - an effective use of hyperbole if ever I saw one.

[It also implies that you can't get into heaven by searching for it. You get there 'accidentally' almost, without meaning to. "Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it." (Luke 17:33)]

Does God dwell in the same place as the angels - the same realm that we will someday forever inhabit? Based on our interpretation of 'throne' from the passage in Isaiah, it can be inferred that He perhaps inhabits and shares dimensions with other beings but also occupies - or is perhaps the only one capable of occupying - a spot reserved for Him and Him alone. All the psalms and praises seem to suggest a God so immense that He can't be contained by any container. Just as a circle or square exist in space, but inhabit/occupy only two dimensions. We can influence and inhabit the same two dimensions while existing/inhabiting/occupying in more than those two. Maybe Heaven is a state where we inhabit more of the same dimensions also inhabited by God (though He exists in more or perhaps transcends dimensions altogether) and therefore experience more of Him and the goodness that His presence brings. That certainly makes sense when considering the doctrine that states we can't bring our earthly bodies with us to Heaven, and also agrees with the idea of a transformation (perhaps not only spiritual, whatever that word means) - becoming a new creature - born again?

I feel reluctant to portray God as being an entity whose potency is derived from an accumulation of dimensions. Being the one entity who occupies the most dimensions would logically make Him also the most powerful being in existence, but the idea of God that the scriptures have painted does not easily fit at the top of a simple linear progression. I can only imagine Him as so far above any of His creations as a cartoonist is to any of his doodles, but even then the distance is not quite enough. Perhaps the difference in greatness between God and His creations is as far as heaven is to earth, unfathomable dimensional distance and all. [Some may argue that earthly beings can get to heaven (or that heaven can come to earthly beings), but are the ones who experience heaven still earthly beings?]

However, even this reasoning leads to the dangerous hypothesis that, in order to get to where God is, one simply has to become God. Because, if we assume that the distance between God and His creations is simply dimensional, and that creatures can become creatures of higher (the word 'higher' seems inaccurate and inadequate. Perhaps 'greater' or 'wider' would be better) dimensions, as human souls do to get to heaven, then it would take just one very bold and ill-advised leap of logic to suppose that one may become or even replace God in His throne. Perhaps the assumption that the distance between God and His creations is merely dimensional is false, or perhaps the assumption that the distance between heaven and earth is merely dimensional is false. Perhaps both are false. Either way, it was this desire and attempt to become God or become like God that led to the downfall of both Satan and man.

It has to be remembered that Satan was formerly the best and brightest of God's creations, the most celebrated angel and all that and, I'm assuming, near perfect in all aspects, including intelligence and ambition. He must've thought he stood a chance, otherwise he wouldn't have attempted to take over. Perhaps he was tricked too, though it's likely that he did the deceiving himself - seems to be his forte, after all. It was a gutsy move, to take on the THE ONE from the highest dimension, the Creator Himself - knowing full well that they weren't remotely in the same league, in fact, countless leagues apart in all directions. It was also a pretty dumb move. Maybe he overestimated himself or underestimated God. Either way, he failed and was banished to Hell. Meaning that God was able to defeat the greatest and most powerful of all His creations and send him to his corner, further supporting the idea that the authority and power of God is so much greater than any of His creations that it cannot be comprehended, and is perhaps consequently overlooked, resulting in foolish rebellions.

So, in the end, we didn't manage to locate heaven to any certain degree, but it seems that God doesn't want us to. Indeed, it doesn't seem like He deemed it very important that we know where it is. Perhaps because He knows it can't be found by us, or for some other higher unfathomable reason. I mean, if He wanted us to know where it is, He could have easily just shown us - but then again, knowing where it is and knowing how to get in are two very different things. It seems as though He wants us to look for something else - but what that is is anybody's guess.

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note:

The trouble with words (and also the wonderful thing about words) is that one word can have so many different meanings. Heaven may have originally meant a dimension solely inhabited by God, also meant to convey the meaning of a realm unreachable, such as the sky/firmament, as previous beliefs dictated. Heaven, at the time, could mean:
1. the sky, atmosphere, clouds and birds and all
2. Space, the stars and the expanse of the universe
3. The "place" where God's throne is.

[Even now, it is used poetically to describe any one of the three, but along with new understanding often comes novel nomenclature. With the invention of words like stratosphere and galaxy, Heaven's main and literal meaning has been filtered down into: 'the "place" where God's throne is' or from a more mainstream perspective, 'the place you go after you die if you've been good'.

A similar confusion arises when using the terms '1st dimension', '2nd dimension' and '3rd dimension'. We understand them respectively as having properties such as occupying a point, length and area in space. However, there is no such thing as a 2nd dimension. Something can occupy two dimensions, but when we try to refer to them individually, it doesn't make sense. Take it from this guy.]

Hence, the use of plural in 'He created the Heavens and the earth'. The author of Genesis no doubt did his best, utilizing the tools and words that were available to him at the time, but perhaps something was lost in translation, well, perhaps not lost but buried just deep enough that some earnest digging may uncover its true meaning. Again, a problem unavoidable when trying to convey concepts from higher/further/greater dimensions.

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the great thing about scripture is that it operates on many levels

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no matter how hard he tried, the ground could never touch the sky

opportunity cost

more than having loved and lost you
I regret not even having the chance to

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Dear readers,

We would like to offer our sincerest apologies regarding the vague emo-ness and self-pity contained within this post. We shall endeavour to make it up to you by writing a fantastic story about it sometime in the near future.

Sincerely, the management

shoddy plans

movie script endings

what are you so worried about?
what?
*wrinkles forehead* this
hmm oh nothing, I was just trying to see into the future
oh? so what did you see?
well, nothing, thanks to you
tch. whatever
I knew you were going to say that

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hey       do you think fish have tongues?
hmm?
you need a tongue to speak right? but fish don't speak
 yeah
so do they have tongues?
I don't think I've ever seen a fish with a tongue before, so I guess not
so how do they communicate with each other then?
I'm sure there are other ways
like what?
  I don't know      sign language?
no I'm serious, how do they talk to each other?
you know I don't think fish have a lot to say
you don't think animals have conversations?
  well,   not the same ones humans do               why the sudden fascination?
 mmm I was just wondering what fish would say if they could speak
I think I know
what?
*gurgle gurgle gurgle*
*punch*
 ow

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you've already picked out a place to stay?
yeah it's a dorm. I'll show you when I get there

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when I was younger my dad and I used to ride our bikes around the neighbourhood. I was always afraid of getting lost

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and then?   what happens next?
   I don't know
what do you mean?
I can't predict the future

mmhmm

원더풀 / madhouse

high concept

I've grown unaccustomed to seeing rain that falls so suddenly and violently, as if a pipe had burst in heaven.

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http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/

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http://www.austinkleon.com/category/newspaper-blackout-poems/

travel light / people skills

good writers copy
great writers copy haruki murakami

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I glance over at my finger, scar tissue forming. A plastic, pink patch of flesh that will never look the same again. Not that it worries me. Surgeons can do all sorts of miracles with some skin and a scalpel. All you need to attain physical perfection is a fat enough wallet, and yet the market value of beauty is not plummeting; either the price is too high or the stigma too severe. But imagine a world where a woman wasn't judged based on the symmetry of her features or the proportions of her figure.

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There is a girl sitting in the airport reading a thick paperback novel. Engrossed in her book, it's intriguing the way her features are both calm yet intense. As if she can hear me, she suddenly looks up like a deer who has heard footsteps. As she pivots her head left, the muscles in her neck become prominent; one in particular - sternocleidomastoid. The word doesn't mean anything except to me and perhaps a handful of other people in the boarding area. It's a name made up of three other equally obscure names - a secret language for common things. Anatomical landmarks aren't on many maps - not that they're difficult to find or anything, it's just that people care more about what they do rather than what they're called. But words can only say so much. A word is just a metaphor for a different bunch of words, but the combination and particular arrangement of that set of words gives rise to a novel meaning greater than the sum of its parts. Often, it has to be phrased a number of ways - approached from a few different angles - before its precise nuances are gleaned - for all of its dimensions to be fully appreciated.

Complex words are always built on the backs of simpler ones. You can't skip steps. The word 'gender' would hold no meaning unless the words 'male' and 'female' had already been established. The idea of opportunity cost would be incomprehensible without first knowing what cost and opportunity were. I think that there are still many things we've not yet invented names for; some of them insignificant, others, of utmost importance. Until we run out of original ideas or expressions, there will always be things for which there are no words.  The next new one is pretty close, I imagine. It'll most likely be discovered mathematically, and when the scientists are finally able to explain it, they'll dig up a few latin syllables and stick them together, or perhaps they'll give it a name like 'superstring theory' or coin a new proverb for it, not that it'll be any of our concern of course.

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She flies over to our table and glares in a manner both pleasant yet impatient. 'Anything to drink?' she asks. 'Got any teh-tarik?' 'All out I'm afraid.' I smile half-heartedly. It's tough being friends with someone who excels at pretending to be friends. You have to sell half your soul to succeed in this industry. As branch manager of a small japanese restaurant franchise, dealing with people you don't like is part of the job, as well as getting them to like you. I remember watching her entertain tables of drunk 50 something business-men who would call her by name and slur compliments at her in cantonese. She would laugh heartily and perhaps reply with some witty repartee then excuse herself and disappear as quickly as her smile. I wondered if it was because she disliked their company or because of the dinner rush. When I first started, she wasn't overtly friendly, but not cold either. After 2 months of working part-time, I had gotten well acquainted with her brusk manner and oddly endearing scowl, but also her infrequent explosions of laughter, which were as brief as they were loud. She always maintained an insulating layer of professionalism whenever there were customers around but it never felt like she was the boss and I was an employee. She became sort of an older sister to me, or at least I imagined it to be so. After work, she'd sometimes give me and another coworker a lift home. On one such occasion, she told us about how she dreaded the end of summer break because they were desperately short of workers. Her extra miles were appreciated, but I still wonder if she would've done the same if they had not been understaffed. Now, I only ever see her when I visit her branch. Quick and cordial, I'm not sure how much of her hospitality is real or reflex. She always spends an extra few seconds at our table and occasionally makes small talk, but I can't help but wonder if the attention is genuine or if I'm just another regular customer.

원해

사 원 | 팔 원 | 많 원 | 소 원

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丸を探して

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I've always found the sentence ending '잖아' peculiar because of the seemingly redundant 'h' consonant next to the 'n', meaning that in order to say it accurately you always have to sigh a little

노래